HELP! Saints Row 2 Not Launching (Windows 10)

First of all, my specs:

CPU: Intel Core [email protected]
Motherboard: Gigabyte Z170-HDP3-CF
RAM: CORSAIR Vengeance LPX 32GB (4 x 8GB) DDR4-2400
Storage: SanDisk x400 512GB SSD (My OS and Saints Row 2 are installed on this drive) / Toshiba 3TB Internal SATA Hard Drive (I have tried installing it on this one too, still doesn't work.)
GPU: Zotac NVIDIA GTX 1080 8GB GPU
OS: Windows 10 Home x64

Now, the issue:

Saints Row 2, when launched from either Steam, a desktop shortcut, or the executable itself, fails to open a window at all. No error message, no crash message, no black screen, just, nothing. I get a loading wheel on my mouse for a fraction of a second, and then, nothing. Steam briefly says I have the game open, and then immediately reverts back to just "Online" status.

Here's everything I have tried to mend the issue (And yes, I have tried combining all of these fixes in every way possible. Still nothing.):

Running as an Administrator.
Running in Windows XP (Service Pack 3), Windows 7, and Windows 8 Compatibility Mode.
Running in Reduced Color Mode (8-bit, 256 colors).
Running in forced 640x480 resolution.
Overriding high DPI scaling behavior to Application, System, and System (Enhanced) modes.
Disabling fullscreen optimizations.
Installing DirectX 9 manually.
Installing DirectX via the installer in the game directory.
Reinstalling the game.
Installing the "Gentlemen of the Row" mod, with various combinations.
Reverting back to Vanilla from a GotR installation.
Deleting all save files.
Manually creating a settings.dat file in AppData\Local\THQ\Saints Row 2.
Installing the game on different drives. (C: (my SSD) and D: (my HDD))

Conclusion:

I have tried everything the internet has told me to try in order to fix this, and gotten no results. I've never had to create a forum post for an issue I've had ever before, so I hope I did this right. Any help is appreciated. I'd love to be able to play this game again. Thanks in advance.
 
have you by any chance tried installing a 3rd party dll?
 
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