Number 1:
Old Uncle Pirate says: 4ewer i knu dat volulition gayz ar rel asholez saintz rou destroid mein cmputer und nov nuting wurkz FUUUUK DEM!!!!!!!
Translation: I just downloaded Saints Row from Torrent (or other shit, I don't remember) and it installed whole bunch of various viruses, spyware and trojans, nothing works now, FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKK, screw Volition, it's THEIR FALSE!!!!!!!
Number 2:
Old Uncle Pirate says: fuk dik ninia hi baned my fur buing boksed saintz rou!!1!11!!1 yo shud knu dat its ultimat editon its 1000%% leagl rely butt dont ned stem!!11111!@11!!
Translation: Shit, IdolNinja banned me for pirating Saints Row and Minimaul doesn't respond for my e-mail... o, wait, I've got genius idea! I'll make second account and write that I've got ultimate edition that don't require Steam, I'm true GENIUS!!!
Number 3 (well, that one is a bit off-topic, but I think it matches here):
Tru Consolez Playa says: o mein gud dat mud lok awsume butt it dont werk fur me Xboks!11!!!1!!!!!!11 HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEE!!11!1111!!!1!!!
<after message from moderator that all mods are PC only> fuk yo al i rely whant it in Xboks butt yo hav consol playas in as scru idol dik und rulez o und yo knu wat consolez are 10000%% beter dan computerz u idiotas!!111!!!!!11!1!!!!! and btw danke fur wasteing me time too instal it on consol
Translation: Well... I think it really don't need it.
Number 4:
Tru Consolez Playa (aka Pirate) says: o gayz haaaalp meee i tryed to instal modz on saintz rou fur mein plaistatyon thre butt thei dont werk soo i dawnloded de game from skidrou und tryed agein nov it crasch wile startink sheeeit wat im doink wrang
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!111!!!!!1!!!1!!!!111!
Translation: I registered on the forum without reading rules (who even cares about that shit?) and tried to install some mods on my PlayStation 3. It didn't work, so I downloaded Saints Row from that amazing site called Skidrow and tried to install mods again. Now game crashes while starting. Any idea WHAT THE HELL I'M DOING WRONG!?
Writing every word with mistakes takes some time, but effects are nice.